Monday, December 28, 2009

My only girl.

Its funny how the timing of information makes all the difference in how you respond to it.  Just a little over a week ago I found out that our 4th baby is going to be another boy.

And I cried.

Okay, I kind of cried a lot.

I laugh about the timing now because had I started with three boys and just found out I was having a girl I'd be DELIGHTED. ECSTATIC. Beside myself!!

I don't think I even realized how deeply I was hoping to have another girl until I found out. Its not really that I prefer having girls over boys... its really just that I wanted Adeline to experience the joys of having a sister as well as the joys of having a brother. I have a sister I adore and love and couldn't imagine life without and I wanted that for her too. However, since this is more than likely our last natural child (okay Johnny - DEFINITELY our last natural child :)) I knew that unless the Lord brings her a sister through another route that she would be a princess amongst stinky boys. :)

Its okay. I know some of you are cringing right now thinking, "Oh, how sad! I hope that little boy  never reads this blog!" But the truth is A.) He probably won't. and B.) Even if he does by then he should know how incredibly happy I am that he's a boy and that he's mine. :)

The original plan was to wait and be surprised to find out what we were having - but in the end I'm glad I know. Already I can't imagine this little boy being a girl.... and its given me that many more weeks to savor the fact that Adeline will be my only one. My only daughter. My only little girl to train in the wonders of femininity. My princess.

And WOW has it transformed the way that I treat her. I look at her differently. I appreciate her in a new way. I savor her in new ways too... I cherish the memories I'm creating now of her playing with her Lucy lambs, of her playing in her doll house... of her bossing around her brothers (though I'm sure those memories will remain fresh throughout all of our lives... hehe). And I'm glad to know. I'm glad I can use these last weeks before this new little guy is born to savor her femininity because each stage is one I'll never witness again.

She's our joy and our delight... and she'll be the family princess for life. :)

And with intimidating looks like this I'm sure she'll be helping me whip this house full of boys into shape in no time. :)

big trouble mister





6 comments:

Kristina Gray said...

Hi Michelle, I smiled reading this...what a great photo and what honest comments expressed! Congratulations on son number three and baby number four- truly blessed!!! Being an only girl is a special treat which I can vouch for...especially daddy's treasured only girl and mummy's too of course. The closest thing I have to a sister is an older cousin, so I don't feel I've missed out. All of that said, Happy 2010 to you all!!! I look forward to seeing the photos of baby number 4 when he arrives. xxx

Unknown said...

My heart went out to you as I began reading your post, but I now rejoice with you as you await baby #4. And who better to be the leader of 3 boys than Adeline? Now she can forever remain the Princess of the house! Thanks for sharing your honest thoughts that others feel but would never share on a blog! :)

Anonymous said...

Michelle,
After reading your thoughts, I just HAD to write you. I have 3 boys and 1 girl too. And your feelings are EXACTLY what I felt when I learned my 4th was a boy. I cried and cried. I wanted Hannah to have a sister. I wanted them to share rooms. I wanted even numbers and another girl to enjoy. I struggled for a while about God's sovereignty and felt that He didn't answer my prayers. I deeply love my 4th child Caleb Trent who will be 2 in January. Through Caleb, God helped me to grow in my understanding that He is in control and loves me dearly. I'll be praying you to be grateful for this 3rd boy and to always be thankful for that sweet little girl that He didn't have to give you, but did.
Love ya,
Shelley Hill

Mary said...

Although I can't relate at this point in my life, I understand. You can look at it like this though... thank God that you were and are able to experience having a daughter. I know plenty of people that don't have the joy of claiming one...and a pretty little one at that.

Jenny I. said...

Thank you for that wonderful story. I'm sure you didn't see it as "wonderful" when you first heard the news. But, like the first person who commmented, I'm the only girl too. Sure, I would have loved having a sister, but in the end, I don't know any different! I don't miss all the joys of what a sister can bring because I simply cannot understand and fathom that. So, I can truly say that I don't feel as if I missed out on anything in life. I'm sure it will be the same way for your daughter. She may wish at times that she could have another girl in the house, but in the end, like me, she will enjoy being the only girl and the princess of the home! Thanks for your blog. This is my first time reading this.

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