A Relateable Loss

By now most of you know that I have been having symptoms of a miscarriage for a few days now. This morning, after visiting the doctor and the hospital, we confirmed what we had suspected was true, out little baby had no heartbeat. And so, I am scheduled to have a D&C at St. Margaret Mercy North first thing in the morning.

Johnny & I are, understandably, quite sad. I was about 11 1/2 weeks along so I think we both thought we were just about out of that "danger zone" and it was a bit of a surprise. We've both had time to pray and grieve together but I wanted to let everyone know that we are both completely at peace and experiencing God's grace in remarkable ways.

A good friend gave us the following verse and I have been meditating on it all day:

Psalm 33:20-23

"Our soul waits for the Lord;
he is our help and our shield.
For our heart is glad in him,
because we trust in his holy name.
Let your steadfast love, O Lord, be upon us,
even as we hope in you."

Ahh, what sweet peace these words give my heart! Ultimately, my heart's gladness is found in him. Though my husband, my children, my family and my friends give me joy on this earth.... its my Lord who gladdens my heart. Its the gladness I find in him that enables me to take joy in his good gifts. Its his love and goodness that we hope in. Its in his presence that we find rest... not in health, not in life, not in blessings. And nothing can separate me from the love he has for me.

And so, we echo the psalmist's cry, " Whom have I in heaven but you? And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." (Ps 73:25-26)

Thank you all for your prayers, e-mails and love. We both feel so well cared for.

Love,
Michelle

Dead Blog

Sorry for those of you who actually check this blog. I absolutely love the idea of keeping this as some type of digital scrapbook for the children's life... and I suppose that its gaps speak loudly of just how busy they keep me!

But that's not all keeping me busy. We've been enjoying having Johnny's cousins and their boyfriends in town this past weekend. Julie's boyfriend came in from Knoxville to run the Chicago Marathon and Bethany's boyfriend came to "meet the family." I'm sure both of them loved us completely... how could they not, right!? :)

I also recently took some pictures of Candi's newest little guy, Camden. You can view most of them on her blog but here are a couple of my favorites:



keep in mind that the blog format cuts off the last 1/2" or so on the right so you miss the end of his name on both of them :( Check out my portfolio or Candi's blog for the full effect.






And here are some pictures of the kids when Johnny's parents took us to the carnival that came to Highland a few weeks ago. They loved it (especially the popcorn!)

waving to the elephants (by far, her favorite)




the second best part



John Michael loves to point at things right now. He grunts and points and of course we jump up and do all his bidding. :) At least he's polite about it - he's officially full blown with his please, thank you and all done signs!




My little guys is officially walking! He has been taking a step here or a few there for the past couple of weeks but he's been taking 8 or 9 in a row these past few days and starting last night we saw him stop his crawling mid-route and stand up to walk so he's definitely taking more of an interest! I rarely push these things (obviously, JM is 14 1/2 months old!) but I must say I'm kind of looking forward to it... the kid weighs a ton! He's quite the mommy's boy still too and I must admit that though I roll my eyes about it sometimes and though its not convenient when I'm trying to do laundry or cook dinner I really do love it. Addy was never nearly as snuggly (though she makes up for it with her inherent girliness!)

Addy is the embodiment of cuteness these days.... she says and does things that evoke endless smiles and laughs from those who love her. I'll leave you with this one for now:

Someone farts.
Addy: Mommy, I hear them coming!
Me: What?
Addy: I hear them coming Mommy!
Me: Who?
Addy: The poopies Mommy! I hear them coming!

Our sweet girl.