I've decided I have a love hate relationship with photography. I love it. I love capturing images that are a reflection of who someone is... whether its the unfolding love of an engagement couple or the sweet wonder of a child, capturing that on film (okay, a memory card) can be invigorating.
I also love edgy, different, unpredictable images.... cutting off parts of the body that you thought might be vital - like half of someone's face or the bottom of their chins.... I love that its different and creative and that sometimes it just works.... even though you can't explain why.
I won't lie... I blog stalk. I love finding photographers who are doing something amazing and try to learn from how they think. I love finding ideas and recreating them. Its funny to me that everyone thinks I'm so creative - I'm really just a copycat. I heard someone say once that God is the only TRUE Creator... the rest of us are all just trying to recreate something we've seen before. I think thats true to a degree.
I also love post processing... taking an image that I've captured in camera and creating it into something more.... using editing tools to draw the viewers eye to understand what it is I'm trying to capture. I think that's why I love my photography tagline - Capturing Life. Creating art. I don't want my images to just be photographs.... I want them to be art. Maybe that's why I'm "into" textures right now.
But as invigorating as capturing those moments can be it can be downright discouraging to *miss* it. Lately I think I need to be on meds my love-hate relationship has been so intense! Sometimes when I peruse a beloved photography blog I get overcome with how much I *don't* know. I dream of living where all these incredible locations must be hiding. I wonder how there are so many beautiful people to photograph in the world. And worst of all, I lust after the Canon 5D. I insist I'd be better if I had it. I convince myself that once I do have it my photography will become instantly excellent, my house will always be clean, sin will cease to haunt me and I will lose 10 pounds. Well, okay, maybe I need to quit eating McDonalds and drinking Dr. Pepper to lose that 10 pounds...
Then there are days like Monday. Monday I had an *aha* moment. I succeeded in Manual mode. I usually fail. I almost always resort to Program mode or Aperture Priority mode because its "safe." I was doing a session as a gift though and knew I already had some rockin' images of this super gorgeous couple so I chanced it and it was.... amazing. I think I was on an adrenaline rush for half the day... and no, I hadn't had any Dr. Pepper yet. I'm ridiculously excited to process those images but for now they are waiting in line. Business has been busy.
Speaking of Manual mode... I'm pretty sure my in camera light meter is junk. I'm sure the on on the 5D is remarkable and will change my life. :)
All of that to say that its late.... my kids are at my moms so I feel justified in being online so late... and guilty for not editing pictures right now.... and amused that even though I said I wasn't going to post any pictures of my inhumanly cute kiddos that I'm struggling not to do it as I type.
Okay I'm giving in. After all... its their blog - I was just stealing a soapbox for some public personal reflection. Hope you enjoyed the insight into my mind.