By now most of you know that I have been having symptoms of a miscarriage for a few days now. This morning, after visiting the doctor and the hospital, we confirmed what we had suspected was true, out little baby had no heartbeat. And so, I am scheduled to have a D&C at St. Margaret Mercy North first thing in the morning.
Johnny & I are, understandably, quite sad. I was about 11 1/2 weeks along so I think we both thought we were just about out of that "danger zone" and it was a bit of a surprise. We've both had time to pray and grieve together but I wanted to let everyone know that we are both completely at peace and experiencing God's grace in remarkable ways.
A good friend gave us the following verse and I have been meditating on it all day:
Psalm 33:20-23
"Our soul waits for the Lord;
he is our help and our shield.
For our heart is glad in him,
because we trust in his holy name.
Let your steadfast love, O Lord, be upon us,
even as we hope in you."
Ahh, what sweet peace these words give my heart! Ultimately, my heart's gladness is found in him. Though my husband, my children, my family and my friends give me joy on this earth.... its my Lord who gladdens my heart. Its the gladness I find in him that enables me to take joy in his good gifts. Its his love and goodness that we hope in. Its in his presence that we find rest... not in health, not in life, not in blessings. And nothing can separate me from the love he has for me.
And so, we echo the psalmist's cry, " Whom have I in heaven but you? And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." (Ps 73:25-26)
Thank you all for your prayers, e-mails and love. We both feel so well cared for.
Love,
Michelle